Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A wake up call.

I have been very frustrated with myself lately. I recently had such a great spiritual experience and have witnessed from a distance the Lord's gentle and loving hand in others life and yet I have been so negative and frustrated. There is no real reason for me to feel this way and then I feel so guilty because of my poor attitude.

Last Friday I went to the funeral of my Aunt Tracee. Although this was something that we knew would happen it was still so hard to see her loving husband looking over her body. He stood by her side for all these years and was the greatest husband you can imagine. He loved her so much! He married her knowing she had major medical problems, knowing that things would be hard and he was always loving and understanding. They could never have children, they couldn't adopt, she had two kidney transplants, a heart attack and heart surgery and years of dialysis. Yet, he never complained, he only showed loved to her and everyone around him.

As some may know our friend Jami has suffered a great loss. Her husband Kameron (the one I asked everyone to pray for) passed away last Wednesday. He had been fighting in the ICU for 1 1/2 months and the Lord felt his time was done here on this earth. I am just so touched by the amazing strength and faith that Jami has! Daily she updated everyone one on Kameron's ups and downs. As I read her last blog about the day he left this earth to return home to our Father in heaven, I just wept. I could not even imagine going through what she has been through.

I look at my son who is only about 6 months younger than hers and look at Rusty and just couldn't imagine losing him and having to change my whole life. Being a widow at such a young age. She is just amazing! I know the Lord thinks so highly of her and so do I. I am so grateful for the understanding I have about death and eternal ties. The blessing of the temple and knowing we will see all of our friends and family again.

I can't help but look at these two amazing spouses who have been loving, supportive, have such great faith and then think 'what is my problem?' I just feel like a spoiled brat. Having unnecessary temper-tantrums, not wanting to fulfill my responsibilities and the way that I treat my family is just awful. I have no excuse. What is going to wake me up to make the necessary changes in my life? I recognize what I don't like about myself and instead of changing it I complain about it.

I want to be like these amazing people I know. What great examples they are. So thank you Jami. Thank you Uncle Danny. I pray that you will be continually comforted and blessed by the Lords merciful hand! And I pray that I can be worthy of the same blessings someday.

**********In Memory of Kameron Haban**********

Kameron Neil Haban's obituary

July 8, 1980 - August 19, 2009

Our beloved Kameron, age 29, was called home to the arms of our Heavenly Father on August 19, 2009 in Tucson, Arizona after a six week struggle with Lupus in the Tucson Medical Center.

Kameron was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on July 8, 1980. Kameron lived with his family in Hawaii, California and Japan before settling in Sierra Vista, Arizona when he was 15. He attended MC Perry School in Japan where he excelled in academics and athletics. He especially enjoyed playing and coaching baseball and softball. From 1999 until 2001 he served a LDS mission in Phnom Penh, Cambodia where he grew to love the people and was dedicated to sharing the gospel with them. As an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Kameron held many callings in the church; he served as Elders Quorum President of his college ward, a Young Men’s Presidency member, a Sunday School teacher, Primary teacher, Scout leader, Seminary Teacher and was an Eagle Scout.

After graduating from Buena High School in 1998 Kameron left home to attend college at Eastern Arizona College, in Thatcher, Arizona where he met the love of his life, Jamilyn (Davies) Haban, in 2003. They were sealed for time and all eternity in the Mesa Arizona Temple on June 25, 2004. Kameron always put Jami first and loves her more than anything. Kameron loves his son, Kason, and worked hard to provide him with the very best. He and Kason were best buds and were often found spending all their extra time together. Kason was his pride and joy and Kameron was the best daddy to Kason.

Kameron was happiest when spending time with his wife, son and family. He enjoyed spending time out-of-doors, especially if it involved hunting or playing sports. Baseball was a huge part of Kameron’s life and he enjoyed teaching his son how to play. He could often be found in the kitchen and enjoyed cooking and baking for his family. Kameron was not one to sit still and do nothing. He was a hard worker and was constantly thinking of ways to serve and help others. He always put others needs before his own. Kameron’s smile was contagious and could light up a room. He had such a great love for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and strived to live it faithfully each day. He was an amazing husband, father, son, brother, and friend. Many lives have been touched by the love and compassion of Kameron. We love you Kam. You will be greatly missed by many and we anxiously await our reunion with you.

Kameron is survived by: his wife, Jamilyn Haban and his two year old son, Kason Alexander Haban; his mother and father, Arthur and Elena Haban; two brothers, Matthew and Daniel Haban; his grandparents, Alejandro (Mary) Haban, Irene Pascua and Roseline Dimaya.

Donations in Kameron’s memory may be made at any Bank of America in the name of Jami Haban for the benefit of Kameron Haban.

*****If anyone would like to know more about Jami and what you can do to help please click on the "Support Kameron and Jamie" button at the top of the blog.
Jami is now left with some crazy medical bills and funeral bills and donations can be made on that page. Thank you!*****


Amy Sprinkle said...

Don't worry, you're not the only one working in that department. I got mad at Wes for not going to the store with me when I was tired when it was he doing all the laundry last night. Sigh. I guess we just have to work at things one step at a time.

Cathy Leavitt said...

My goodness girl. Stop being so hard on yourself. You've been through allot yourself these last few weeks, and everyone is entitled to have some down time. Nobody is perfect. Let me repeat that...nobody is perfect. Life is full of ups and downs. After being married for 32 1/2 years, I still have ups and downs where I'm not the most terrific wife in the world. Yes, it does get a little easier for me after all this time, but I also don't have little ones needing my attention. I think you are a great mother and wife, and we just need to keep counting our blessings, be grateful for the gift of the Atonement when we make mistakes, and give ourselves a pat on the back for our good qualities. As long as we can make each day a little better by doing the best we can do (remember every day will not be perfect), then you are doing great! Love, Aunt Cathy

Rachel said...

I have a friend you is going through tons of trials right now and I look up to her also. We learn so much, yet it is so hard, when we experience these things. I appreciate the lives of others that inspire me to be better.