Husbands and Wives

So I have been thinking lately about my role as a wife. I have realized that I am going on four years of marriage and I am nowhere near the kind of wife I want to be, or that which my husband deserves. I hardly make dinners or clean as much as I should. I complain WAY too much and still expect my husband to read my mind when I am upset! (This list could go on for a long time but I think in this situation less is more.)

Well, I have decided that it is high time I straighten up. Not only are my actions effecting my spouse and somewhat hurting our relationship, they are effecting me and anyone else around me. I'm not really sure how some of these bad habits and emotions have sneaked their way into my life but they have and I have got to put and end to it!

I read this book a year or two ago called "Strangling Your Husband Is NOT an Option: A Practical Guide to Dramatically Improving Your Marriage" by Merrilee Browne Boyack . I read it and I thought, I can do this, I can improve my marriage. Only to forget about it a week later. Well, I recently read it again and have felt the need to really take some of her advice to heart. Some of the things she says hit too close to home for comfort but those words are exactly the things I needed to hear. One thing that I liked about this book is that since she is LDS she shares stories and quotes from church leaders that give her words and added depth to them. (I will not go to say that I agree completely with all of the authors opinions. However, there was a lot of good advise which I would encourage people to read and pray about, see what fits you and your relationship.)

One of the biggest things that stuck with me was to not kill the things that worked in the beginning. When you dated your now husband, what did you like to do? Go on long walks? Dance? Do puzzles? Or did you do what you do know sit around watching a movie while he sits at the computer.... When you knew you were going to see him, what did you do? Throw in some extra sit-ups at the gym? Try on several outfits? Clean your apt. up? Or did you sit around in your PJ's all day with a ponytail hoping he will come home and want to do the dishes you didn't want to do...

When you are a stay at home mom it is difficult to get motivated and do the things you once loved to do. (At least for me, but boy do I see other mother's and wives that really have it going on.) It's sometimes so easy to feel like you have lost yourself and lose all of that self confidence and that fun attitude you once had. But is that the person you were when you fell in love? Is that the kind of person you want to be? I know it's not what I want to be and I know the only way to get back to that is by taking action.

I am so incredibly lucky to have the husband that I have. He is so patient and understanding all the time. I just want to be that person that he married and not someone he dreads coming home to. I have a goal and although it might take me a while to get back to the "fun-living" wife I once was, I know that I can. Through this process I will not only make a happier husband I will make a happier ME.

My sweetheart of a husband and I Nov. 2008

(This song I felt was appropriate for this post, although I know my husband wouldn't leave me if I had my hair in curlers. It's an older song and I wish I could figure out how to post an exert of this song on my blog but I am just not that tech savvy. You could always rent The First Wives Club and listen to the opening song.)

Wives And Lovers
Hey, little girl,
Comb your hair, fix your make-up.
Soon he will open the door.
Don't think because
There's a ring on your finger,
You needn't try any more

For wives should always be lovers, too.
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.
I'm warning you.

Day after day,
There are girls at the office,
And men will always be men.
Don't send him off
With your hair still in curlers.
You may not see him again.

For wives should always be lovers, too.
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.
He's almost here.

Hey, little girl
Better wear something pretty,
something you'd wear to go to the city.
And dim all the lights,
Pour the wine, start the music.
Time to get ready for love.

Oh, time to get ready,
Time to get ready,
Time to get ready
For love.